Meditation... am I doing this right?

I decided to look into meditation and yoga before deciding on taking medication. I thought this is my last natural resort to try and rewire my brain myself. And it was something I hadn't tried yet, something I hadn't actually put much consideration into because well... I'm impatient. 

So I looked it up. And came across articles like this and this and this, articles that tell you how your life will change and you'll be calmer, it'll help you sleep and all these other amazing health benefits. A few tips, how to do it... all of that good stuff. Only to discover.... there isn't just ONE way to do either! Uh okay... now what? So I looked into all the different types of meditation and I researched which ones helped the most when it came to anxiety and Mindfulness came up.

[ credit: Pinterest ]

I just love infographics, don't you? They're fun!

From my understanding, when it comes to Mindfulness meditation the goal isn't to completely clear your mind. I mean, it is, but it isn't. It's more to be aware of yourself, your surroundings, of the thoughts that are floating in your mind --- to be aware of them but not to stick them around, just let them flow right passed you. 

For about a week every night before bed I would sit and I would try to relax and I would breathe. And my mind, I suppose because the day is pretty much over and all I had to do was some simple Yoga and go to bed after this, was pretty much empty. Which kind of frustrated me but it shouldn't had because it meant more time to be aware of myself. My breathing. Which I had a hard time doing. Which I still have a hard time doing. I keep telling myself inhale, exhale, feel the inhale and exhale --- wait, I didn't feel that exhale. Maybe you should exhale deeper. Wait, no don't do that, you'll get dizzy. You know what, just breathe. Seriously. My train of meditation thoughts.

I feel like I'm doing this wrong.

But I can't be mad because I literally just started. Going from this brain who has White Rabbit Syndrome (I made that up --- I feel like I'm the White Rabbit from Alice in Wonderland all the time saying I'm late! I'm late! because I literally always feel like I'm racing against time. Against what exactly? I don't know.) who always has to be on the GO and forcing myself to sit. Still. And breathe. And not think. Is going to be a challenge!

But how can you get something if you don't practice, right? So I'll keep at it. 

But seriously, am I doing this right?